Wow. It's been so long since I've written that I think...shit...I think I've forgotten how. I mean there's this thingy here in front of me with letters on it. And my fingers naturally gravitate over the letters but they just aren't quite sure which keys to hit. That's how I remember the writing thing going before. My fingers just kind of did the work for me. My brain made them move but usually it was just a bunch of tap, tap, tapping on the keys and then, later, I would read it back and say to myself, "Shit. That's what I was thinking?" My lazy ass fingers don't seem to be thinking properly for me anymore.
Damn. Where to start? I'm not sure I even remember where I left off. Not that I was really going to town with the writing before. I don't think I've done any real writing in almost a year. A year. A year ago I was writing several times a week. I needed it to survive. Now I don't need anything to survive because I'm actually living. Finally. Of course being in survival mode made for funny, and sometimes touching, writing. Making funny on paper alleviated the day to day pain. And now I don't have day to day pain. Maybe without the daily angst and suffering I feel that I have nothing but rainbows and puppy dogs to write about. And we all know there isn't much funny about that lame shit.
My life has been nothing but one transition after another the past year but each stage has just gotten me one step closer...closer to...a satisfying life. I'm happy. No angst. No suffering. Nothing to overcompensate for. So I am left with details.
One...I'm buying a house. A lovely house. With someone that I love very much. Which leads me to...
Two...I'm in love. With someone that is a great friend, a fantastic lover. Someone that has a devilish sense of humor and a very generous soul. Someone with a pop culture encyclopedia for a brain and never refrains from using it. Someone who sings loudly in the car with me and understands and appreciates all of my many, many quirks. Someone much more giving than myself but doesn't make me feel guilty about it.
Three...I finally landed the job that I wanted with the company that I wanted. Not much to tell as the job itself is actually very, very boring. But I wanted it so I am happy.
See? Rainbows and puppy dogs. That's all there is to see here. Maybe I'll find a way soon to make that funny. Or touching. Although I just can't deal with that much sap even if I am a secret romantic hiding behind a cynic's exterior.
Wow. I really am out of practice. I feel all...sucky. Heh. Sucky. At least I haven't forgotten how to throw a great sentence together. The best I can come up with is "sucky" and I am now writing in numbered lists. Ugh. Somebody please reconstruct that sentence for me, force me to find my thesaurus or shoot me in the head. Thanks.